


Perfectly Normal

by Hinagikuai



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Internal Monologue, No backup, Poor Kagami, Scenes based on the anime, Some Humor, Some scenes more serious than others, What went on in Akashi's mind, With A Twist, a collection of oneshots basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-24 02:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4902262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinagikuai/pseuds/Hinagikuai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokushi and Oreshi Akashi have a conversation going on.<br/>The generation of Miracles were no help.<br/>Kagami was nearly stabbed with scissors.</p><p>(One-shots of scenes that took place in the anime with a twist and added stuff.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scissors and Kagami

“You’re Akashi, huh? Glad to meet you.”

_Seems like someone won’t put up with your shit._

_ Shut up. This one will pay for addressing me so familiarly. _

_Well, he didn’t seem too bad._

_ Silence. Your opinion doesn’t matter to me. I shall teach this one what happens when they address me as he did. _

_What? Going to intimidate him with your height? I don’t think that’ll be a grand plan._

_ When will you shut up? I have this under control! Now, witness the glory about the scene you will witness. _ __

“Shintarou, could I borrow those scissors?”

_You are not going to do what I think you are._

_ Just watch! _ __

“What are you going to use them for?”

“My hair is annoying me. I’ve been wanting to trim it.”

_I don’t know why Midorima let you use them._

_ Unlike you, my orders are absolute. _ __

_Absolute insanity._

_ Don’t be jealous, kind one. _

“First…you’re Kagami-kun, aren’t you?”

_Are you seriously going to…and you did it._

_ Enjoy the show? _ __

_Like I said, you’re insane._

_ I knew he’d dodge. _

_That still doesn’t mean you can freely swing scissors at someone’s face._

_ He dodged. _ __

_You’re impossible._

“Kagami-kun!”

_See, you’ve made Kuroko worried._

_ Tetsuya worries too much. _

_Why do I bother with you?_

_ Silence, I’m going to end what I started with an epic monologue. _

“Heh? I’m surprised you were able to dodge that.”

_No you’re not._

_ Silence kind one! _

“In light of that display of grace, I’ll forgive you this time.”

_How sweet of you._

_ Does silence not get through to your head? _ _  
_

_No._

“However, there will be no second chance. When I tell you to leave, leave.”

_You’re very rude, you know that._

_ I’m going to ignore you. _

“In this world, winning is everything. Winners are affirmed completely and losers are denied completely.”

_I don’t think they signed up for life lessons._

“I’ve never lost at anything before, and I never will.”

_You know usually people jinx themselves when they say that._

“Because I always win and I am always right.”

_They most definitely didn’t sign up to hear you boast about yourself._

“I show no mercy to those who oppose me. Not even my own parents.”

_Was that necessary to say?_

_ It’s for effect! _ __

_I thought you were ignoring me._

_ You were distracting me! _

“Well, I’m leaving. I just wanted to say hello to everyone today.”

_So, satisfied with your grand entrance and exit?_

_ Yes, I am actually. _ __

“What!? Don’t be ridiculous Akashi!”

 _ Leave it to Daiki to ruin my amazing exit. _ __

_You know he’s always been like that._

“You summoned us just for that?”

“No…I actually wanted to confirm something, but after seeing your faces, I realized there was no need.”

_Then you just wanted attention._

_ Shut up! _

“No one has forgotten our promise. Everything’s fine, then. The next time we meet will be on the court.”

_ And that is how you make an epic exit even after someone rudely ruins it. _

_I’m not even going to comment._

_Good._

_But it was stupid._

_ I’m going to hurt you. _ __

_Sorry, but that will be impossible._

* * *

“Why the hell did you guys just stand there!” Kagami shouted, glaring at all of the bastards known as the generation of miracles.

“Akashi wasn’t going to actually stab you.” Midorima said, adjusting his glasses.

“Tch, as if I’m going to fucking save your ass. He would’ve done some good if he hadn’t missed.” Aomine replied, glaring at Kagami.

“Minechin, that’s mean.”

“Shut up. You wouldn’t have called the ambulance if Akashi had stabbed him. You’d be eating those damn snacks of yours and probably watch as that idiot died.”

“I can fucking hear you!”

“It’s okay Kagamicchi! I would’ve definitely called the ambulance!” Kise joined in.

“Yet, you sure as hell didn’t intervene when he swung those scissors at me!”

“Are you crazy!? Akashicchi would have been pissed at me! I don’t want scissors flying at me too!”

“You’re an asshole Kise!” Kagami shouted.

“I’m sorry Kagami-kun. I should have saved you, but truthfully those scissors looked quite intimidating when it was Akashi-kun holding them.”

“Kuroko you bastard!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taken from the scene Season 2 episode 13? (Is that right?) when Akashi makes his first appearance in the anime.  
> The dialogue is taken from the subtitles, except the last bit since that never occurred.
> 
> A fic in which, well how everyone just idly stands there as Kagami is being swung scissors at and it's okay? My take on what went on after and during. Just for fun.


	2. Kagami and Akashi

_ Oh look, it’s that one guy who opposed me. _

_I thought it was the one who treated you too familiarly._

_ Same thing. I’m going to be polite and greet them. _

_Why do I feel like that’s not what you’re going to do._

_ Silence. _

“Hi. It’s been a while since the opening ceremonies, Tetsuya.”

_Don’t pick on Kuroko._

_ I’m not. _

“Yes, Akashi-kun.”

_He’s a lot colder now because of you._

_ False accusations. Oh? What’s this? He dare interrupt my conversation with Tetsuya? _

_Are you always easily provoked?_

“Yo, you can’t have forgotten about me. That other time you sure pulled a disturbing move…Kise and you…I’ll kick both your asses!”

_Now, before you swing scissors at him, let’s think rationally. He meant it in a semi-good intentioned way._

_ I don’t have scissors to swing at him! But I wish I did because he is getting out of hand. He practically insulted me. That was in no way good intentioned! _

_What did you expect? You can’t just expect a person to be okay with being swung scissors at. I understand why he’s being rude._

_ It is still unforgivable! He’s staring down at me and I will not stand for it! _

_Well, I mean…we are a lot shorter than he is so of course he’s looking downward._

_ I’m going to ignore you. _

_Then, I’ll just watch._

“Of course I remember you, Kagami Taiga. I’ll give you one warning though.”

_I can’t seem to guess what you're up to._

“Only those subservient to me are allowed to speak without changing their line of sight.”

_Wait don’t tell me your planning on…._

“I don’t allow anyone acting against me to look down on me.”

_Are you? At least answer me._

“Lower your head.”

_How did you even manage that?_

_ Skill and power. _

_I highly doubt that. But, I guess it looked kind of cool._

_ See, you enjoyed the show. _

_I still wouldn’t do it though, that’s practically bullying._

_ You and I will never agree on anything. _

_I suppose not._

“Kagami!”

“Kagami-kun!”

_See, again with worrying Kuroko._

_ He’s just being overdramatic. I’ll have to discipline him. _

_With a speech I presume?_

_ Shut up. _

“Tetsuya, if you’re going to face me, you should be prepared. I was the one who discovered your talent. Sooner or later you’ll come to realize that.”

_That was rude._

_ No, it’s a fact. _

_Well, are you going to get a move on? Or are you going to cause an even greater scene?_

_ Can you not stay quiet for a day? You always have to ruin everything. _

_More like you ruin everything._

_ I’m ignoring you. _

_Good luck with that._

_ I need no luck. I’m absolute. _

_See, you didn’t ignore me._

_Because you needed to be corrected._

 

* * *

“Why the fuck do you guys just stand there and not intervene!?” Kagami shouted as he stood.

His team members coughed and avoided eye contact at all costs. They were not about to admit that Akashi terrified them to the point that they had all come to a silent agreement to sacrifice him if need be.

Kuroko went up to Kagami.

“I’m sorry Kagami-kun. I was going to help, but it was too late.”

“Kuroko you always have some excuse! Why did you just let yourself get insulted by him!”

“I’m sorry Kagami-kun, but I am smart enough not to provoke my former captain.”

“You bastard.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! Another chapter! So, this time this is the scene when Akashi comes across Kuroko and Kagami and um, well you guys know which episode right? 
> 
> Hope you guys like it!


	3. Gouge Eyes, It's Over

_ This is unforgivable. _

_Please tell me you're not losing your temper when you’re in the middle of a match._

_ They need to be punished as well. So be it. _

_Wait, what are you doing._

_ Teaching them a lesson. _

_No, you are not going to do it. That’s excessive. Don’t be a drama queen._

_ I’ve already decided. _

_I can’t believe you just did that. You scored on your on basket. People are thinking you’re insane right now._

_ Let them. I have better things to do now. _

“Akashi…”

“When did I say you could let down your guard? The game isn’t over yet.”

_You’re really mad aren’t you?_

“Did you relax after we established a large lead?”

_Calm down._

“I can tell because you were reeling after they scored just a few baskets in a row. If the game were closer, you wouldn’t have disgraced yourselves in this way.”

_You’re not even going to listen to me? I’m trying to talk to you._

“In that case, we should lose the gap. Cool your heads.”

_Says the one who really needs to cool their head._

_ I’m in no mood for your remarks. _

_Don’t get mad at me. I did nothing wrong._

“But if we lose, you can blame me all you want. We will have lost because of that shot I took.”

_I’m really starting to worry about you…_

“I will accept full responsibility and quit the team.”

_You’ve startled your teammates. What kind of captain does that?_

_ This is just the beginning. _

_There’s more?_

_ Oh yes. They will know how serious I am. _

“To pay for my crime, I will gouge out my eyes and give them to you.”

_You really went overboard with that one, look at your teammates, they’re terrified._

_ Good. It will serve as a wake up call. _

_You wouldn’t actually gouge out your eyes right?_

_ I would. _

_I’d appreciate it if you consulted with me about this. I happen to not want my eyes gouged out._

_ It won’t happen. We will not lose. _

_Still, I’d appreciate if you didn’t say those things._

_ How many times must I tell you it’s for effect! _

_Well your teammates are taking this very seriously. You might cause them some kind of trauma._

_ I won’t cause them trauma! _

“What are you talking about Akashi? You don’t need to do that!”

_See, you’ve already caused one to be paranoid._

_ Kotaro is just too sensitive. _

“It’s only if we lose. If we win, there’s no problem.”

_Easy for you to say. They will have to live with this traumatic experience of their captain being some psycho who will willingly give up his eyes._

_ I’m going to pretend you didn’t just insult me. _

“I’m not worried because I am certain. We cannot lose with you on the team.”

_Look even with you smiling they’re terrified. They’re even more terrified than before. You shouldn’t smile._

_ You are walking on thin ice, kind one. _

_You can’t hurt me._

_ I’m in the mood to do more preaching. _

_Don’t you dare._

_ Sorry, but I’ve already decided. _

“Unfortunately, this game is already over. I have something to tell you. You will not even be able to touch the ball again.”

_You can’t just go throwing a fit to people._

_ I’m not throwing a fit! _

_Why are you dragging in Midorima in your fit then?_

_ I am merely stating facts. _

“What? That’s impossible, Akashi. Not even your emperor eye can stop our shots.”

_Stop with this fit. I won’t allow you to badmouth Midorima._

_ Hm? Well, if you can stop me, then try, but so long as I’m in control you can’t do anything. _

“Height is certainly an important factor in basketball. At first glance, it seems as though I can’t stop you. But let me tell you something. I am absolute. I see everything that will happen. Changing it is easy.”

_Enough! You really have a bad tendency to preach people about your so called absolute power!_

_ Now who’s the one throwing a fit? Try to calm down I am in the middle of a match here. _

_As if I’m bothering you._

_ You really are. _

_I really want to hurt you._

_ Oh? I seem to recall something you said, something about not being able to. Now if you’ll excuse me I have something to finish. _

“I told you. I am absolute. Your shot has a weakness. Because you’re left handed, he has to pass from your left side. And your shooting motion is the same every time. In other words, I can easily predict the timing and path of the pass even without my emperor eye.”

_You’re awful._

“I used my eyes for only a moment so I could get a head start on him at the moment of no return. I intentionally let him slip past the double-team on this side, too, to close the distance between us.”

_Really awful. How dare you talk to Midorima that way._

_ Life is awful sometimes, kind one. _

“I hadn’t realized you already made your opening move.”

“You exceeded my expectations, but now how I had imagined. Shogi and basketball are the same. Didn’t I always tell you? An opening move only works when you plan ahead without your opponent’s knowledge.

_First your teammates and now Midorima, you really are an awful one._

_ Winning is everything, kind one. It’s time to end things. _

“It’s over, Shintarou.”

“Akashi!!”

“I must express my respect for all of you, Shintarou and Shutokou High. Not a single one of you lost the will to fight until the end, but you fell short.”

_I won’t forgive you for this._

_ I don’t need your forgiveness. _

“Sleep now, veteran kings.”

 _Awful._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you guys know which scene this is! Right?


	4. Teiko Days

“I’m not sure Aominecchi should be playing games whether he comes to practice or not.”

“I don’t know what the coach is thinking, but I’m hesitant to agree.”

_ I don’t think the coach is doing anything wrong. I support his decision. Victory is all that matters. Daiki can do whatever he wants so long as he scores. _

_Not you. I don’t want to speak to you. That way of thinking is wrong in many ways._

_ I’m telling you it’s not. _

“About that, if we don’t have to practice as long as we win I don’t want to practice anymore.”

_ I for one would let Atsushi do what he wants too so long as we win. _

_That’s you. I’m not going to let Murasakibara do as he pleases._

“Don’t be stupid. He’ll never allow it.”

_ Believe me, it’s for the best. _

_Shut up._

“But I can’t lose. Besides, I’ve only been listening to you because I thought I couldn’t beat you. But lately, I think that may not be the case anymore.”

_ Truthfully, I think your precious team will fall apart. Well no, it is falling apart and there’s nothing you can do to sustain it. _

_Shut up. I don’t need to hear that from you._

_ I’d never let Atsushi look down on me. He’s clearly disrespecting you even insulting you for being weak. _

_I told you to shut up._

_ You know I’m right. You’re not fit to lead them. _

“I don’t want to listen to someone weaker than me.”

_ See, you’re weak. _

“What did you say?”

“What are you talking about Mukkun? You’re joking right?”

_ You’re weak. Let me handle this. _

_No, I can handle this on my own._

_ Well, suit yourself. You’ll come to see that I’m right. _

“Move. If I have to do it by force, I will. Don’t flatter yourself. One-on-one. First to five.”

_ One last chance. Let me handle this. _

_I told you, I’ll handle it._

_ How pathetic. You haven’t even scored once. _

_Shut up!_

“Honestly, I’m pretty disappointed. I can’t listen to you anymore. Whatever, once I make this, I’m doing what I want.”

_I, Akashi Seijuurou will lose? That’s impossible. I must win, no matter my opponent. No matter what._

_ That’s what I’ve been telling you. Victory is everything. _

_Winning is everything. Winners are validated and losers are denied._

_ That’s right. I’m glad you’ve come to understand that. So then, shall I teach Atsushi a lesson? It’s unforgivable that he looked down on us. _

_Yeah…_

_ Then how about we switch. It’s time for you to watch how one should lead. _

“Because I always win, I am always right. You’re pushing your luck, Atsushi. Don’t make me so angry. I never forgive those who defy me. Not even my parents.”

_Is that really how one should lead._

_ You’re just too soft. _

_How can that be the right way though._

“Well, I’m out. Good work, guys.”

“Wait, Mukkun!”

“I just have to come to practice tomorrow, right?”

“No, that’s fine. You can do as you please as long as we win.”

“What?”

_I don’t think its right._

_ You had the chance to prove your way and that didn’t work. So, I’m doing this my way. _

“What are you saying, Akashi? That’s not what--”

“The same goes for you two as well. As long as we win, I don’t care what you do.”

_This is wrong._

_ No, it’s the right way. _

“At our level, forcing everyone to cooperate is pointless. It’s more effective if we don’t.”

“But…it sound like you’re telling us not to use teamwork.”

_Is that the answer? No teamwork? That isn’t right._

“That’s exactly right. Teamwork will only get in the way of the generation of miracles. That’s what I said.”

_Stop, that isn’t the answer._

_ Silence. This is the only answer. _

* * *

 

“You’re late. Looks like you failed.”

“Yes.”

“Then it can’t be helped. Give upon Aomine. Once a plate cracks, it will never be whole again, but as long as it’s still useful, thing are find as they are.”

_Stop. Stop talking like that._

_ I’m only stating facts. _

“Akashi-kun? What are you talking about? No, who are you?”

“I’m Akashi Seijuurou, of course. Tetsuya.”

_I can’t believe I let you talk me into changing places._

_ It’s not my fault you were weak against them. _

* * *

 

“I heard you told the others they don’t have to come to practice.”

“Teiko’s doctrine is victory. You made the right decision.”

_I don’t agree._

_ And you will continue not to. _

* * *

 

“You don’t usually practice shooting.”

“Akashi-kun.”

“You don’t need to do that anymore.”

“You’re right. Do you like basketball?”

“I don’t understand your question. Do I need to like it to win?”

_Kuroko doesn’t need to hear anymore. Stop this already. It’s enough._

_ No, Tetsuya has to understand. _

“I’m not sure anymore. The team has clearly changed ever since you changed.”

“This again? I haven’t changed. I always had two personalities. The other simply took over. I’m not hiding anything. Whether or not you believe me is up to you. But if you call that change, then I say it was necessary.”

_Enough. It’s enough._

_ No, it’s not. _

“The team didn’t change because I changed. I changed because the team changed. Now that our talents are awakening, we have no rivals outside anymore. If there are any, they’re within the team. Forcing us to work together could make the team implode. We shouldn’t work together anymore.”

“What are you…”

_Stop it. You’ve made your point. There is no need for this!_

_ There is a need. I told you, Tetsuya must understand this if he is to stay on the team. _

“That’s why you and Daiki had a falling out. The light became too bright for his shadow. If you were comparing two lights, it would be obvious.”

_You didn’t have to approach it in this manner!_

_ Addressing the issue directly is the only way. _

“Isn’t anything more important than winning?”

“No.”

_Stop._

“Vague ideals are powerless.”

“You might be right. People change as they grow. Maybe I was just desperate for things to be like they were before nationals.”

“If you want to quit, I won’t stop you, but if you are staying you must accept it. If you want to keep being Teiko’s sixth man.”

_That’s going too far._

_ Let him take this as a lesson. _

_A meaningless one._

_ No, an important one. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback episodes! I'm pretty sure you know which scenes these are.
> 
> Also to Akuma_river (In case you are still reading this), is it considered the championship game? Or like the pre-championship game? Since, the actual championship is with Rakuzan vs Seirin. Or maybe I just didn't quite understand?


End file.
